I guess its over ... Maybe its my fault but my mom told me that 'if you let it go and it never comes back , it was never yours . But if it comes back then it belongs to you .' We had been together for 3 years and yes they were amazing years . I love him with all my heart i guess i never will just STOP loving him . Thats a long time to be with someone . I feel a bit foolish ... maybe i am a bit foolish , its just he was not understanding me . AM I MAKING A MISTAKE ?? He convinced that i got another guy in the picture but that is not the case at all :( ! I just hate the wait , i just hate being alone , he is not even here . His mom hates me . How will it ever work ?? DANG i am so stupid i guess thats what i get for letting me heart win . I never felt so sad . I feel empty being with him but i feel torn when he is gone . What the heck is that suppose to mean ?? Maybe i will find a man who loves me flaws and all and doesnt expect me to change every 2 seconds . I laugh out of nervousness , what kind of women laughs at stuff when she is nervous ?? Seriously i would like to meet her so i dont feel like the only idoit on the face of the planet ! What would i say to him if he was here ... i have no clue . I probably just cry ... lol ... i know HOW PATHETIC . Maybe i am too hard on myself . UGH i hate this . I just want to sleep . I wish he could just be here . I dont even know how it feels to kiss him ! I want to go crazy i want to be rebellious . WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME ?? i just want to have fun ... but what if i lose him ? Would i be able to sit and tell my self it was worth it ??
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